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Did addiction claim yet another creative — Scott Weiland?

“Half the world is on Xanax,” Carson Daly commented recently during his morning show on AMP Radio as his producer Angie read the list of drugs found on Scott Weiland’s tour bus, which TMZ described as “a pharmacy on wheels.”

Half the world… Why not the whole world? Xanax must have been invented by a lazy drunk. No storing bottles, no washing wine glasses, and no mixing drinks. Xanax works on the same receptors as alcohol, but all you need is a sip of water and a tiny pill — you can get “drunk” in one simple swallow. Actually, you can get better than drunk. Xanax erases your anxieties and leaves your speech and motor functions basically intact sans the telltale scent of alcohol.

Xanax, Valium, and Ativan are benzodiazepenes, a.k.a. benzos. These minor tranquilizers are highly addictive, have few side effects, and let you achieve the land of no worries in 20 minutes or less.

Taking benzos is one certain way to advance a career in addiction, whether the career path be via drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, binge eating, overspending, or any other compulsive, destructive behavior.

If you struggle with anxiety, bipolar, or bipolar depression, as a bonus, benzos insure that you will never have to learn how to identify your triggers or explore effective coping mechanisms such as deep breathing, meditating, or weeding out the toxic people in your life.

I am sad and angry that we lost such a prolific, highly original artist. (Buzzbands.la interviewed Scott Weiland two weeks before his death and published a eulogy.)

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Filed under Humor/Stand Up Comedy, Mental Health and Addiction